This goes for just about everything in general dealing with "religion"...it should be about faith. It really upsets me how much we as Christians fight over all the things we don't have in common instead of focusing on all the great things that we share. I remember talking to a friend who went with her church on a missions trip and her church wouldn't let another church there work with them just because that church wasn't Baptist and instead was a Non-Denominational Church. Really?
Really?
In the end we all, for the most part, are united on two things:
1. A belief in God.
2. A belief in Jesus Christ as our savior.
Why do dwell on all the things that we don't agree on? Part of it is our human nature to want to be "right." Every individual person has to be "right" as often as possible, and if someone's opinion differs from our own (even very slightly) then they are labeled as wrong. Sure, we can all have very strong faith in what we believe is the truth about Christianity and the Bible...but when you think about it in a realistic way you should be able to admit that everything we believe is just an opinion. Some people have the opinion that the Bible is the be all end all of our religion. Others believe it was written by man, translated by man, etc and because of our free will it could be flawed. And still even another group doesn't put much faith in it as a religious text whatsoever. As the love of my life Patrick said, yesterday I think, "Everyone is just as sure that their belief is right that you believe that yours is, how passionate you are is just how passionate they may be." Or as I've heard it said before, "Opinions are like buttholes, we all have them and they all stink." As much as I may believe one way and think it's right (because again, it's human nature) another person may believe the exact opposite thing and have just as much certainty that they are right.
In the end when you just constantly bring up all those differences in opinions, our religion begins to divide. You end up with separate sects of Christianity...Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal. There is a group who tries to get themselves out of those labels and call themselves non-denominational. For years I've been a part of that following and have enjoyed it thoroughly, yet I still see that they preach on what they believe to be right and there seems to be only a bit more wiggle room there when compared to other more strict sects. I really want a movement to start in Christianity. That movement is about bringing back the relationship of people to Christ and bringing up the common points instead of focusing on differences.
For years now I've been called into youth ministry, but haven't actually made much effort in following that calling. At first I ignored it because I didn't think that my ex-husband would go along for the ride (while we were married obviously). My next excuse was that I was scared, I had a spirit full of fear of the unknown. Thankfully that one went away when I was watching a Hillsong United DVD and one of their youth pastors talked about her initial fear in entering ministry. After that it was pure laziness that put me off. But no more. You can only ignore what God puts on your heart before you give in and realize, "This is what I was made for." I'm not sure how this whole thing will unfold, but I do know that God will be beside me every single step of the way...and if God is with you, you're covered. I am contacting the leader of the local Young Life chapter tomorrow to talk about working as a youth leader with them. Here's the thing, it's about gaining experience and knowledge. I want to get to know what it's like to lead the youth before I work on my ultimate calling of working to unite people by faith as I mention above. I think youth ministry is the first step, that's my "original calling," but over this time I've realized that in the end it's about uniting people for the cause of Heaven and working to break the barriers that divide us.
Anyways, I'll have another post (probably similar in nature) tomorrow...but for now I need to continue working lol. Keep safe everyone, and don't be blinded by those divisions.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Small things are just as awesome.
God always provides all that I need, and lots of what I want. I was so worried about finances, but I've done the math and we're going to be fine. That includes tithing, bills, rent, car payment, insurance payment, gas to get the kids, etc. Thank God for providing, and that's just with me UNDERESTIMATING my pay (^_^). Anyways God came through on something small today. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe not, but I'm just going to thank God either way. We've had major issues with our computer. Major. Everytime we get it fixed within two days we get the blue screen of death and aren't able to get Windows to start again. We've had to get it fixed three or four times now. Anyways so we got the blue screen of death earlier...again. I was obviously not too happy about seeing it again, but I trusted. I prayed and said that I knew I had been behind on devotionals and my blog and that I needed the computer to be able to write that blog and share my views on God. Then I remembered a sermon I heard about how powerful words are...positive as well as negative. So I breathed in, calmed down, and wrote "I WILL WORK" on a post-it note and stuck it to the screen and kept on praying.
And for the first time...this computer recovered from blue screen syndrome. So thanks to that, I'm able to update you guys :). I'm not writing as much as I'd like, but I'm also at work and need to be you know...working.
And for the first time...this computer recovered from blue screen syndrome. So thanks to that, I'm able to update you guys :). I'm not writing as much as I'd like, but I'm also at work and need to be you know...working.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Will update again soon!
Sorry I haven't updated for a few days ladys and gents, more updates coming soon I promise :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The computer is working again.
We've not had the best of luck recently with the computer, so I'm happy to say that thanks to our awesome friend Twitch...it's currently working again. I say currently because it's messed up a few times after being fixed haha. Anyways so onto today's entry...
So far getting back into the swing of devotionals has been fairly easy. I'm really liking the format of this book of devotionals, it makes it so much easier! I'm going to go over what I've done for the past two days (yesterday and the day before). I'm writing all of this down in a notebook, and I won't be sharing them here every day I do a devotional. But I think that recalling my devotional multiple times a day really helps them sink in.
November 11th, 2010
Passage - Genesis 3:1-10
Read - check
Think - "How does this passage speak to your situation today?"
I'm reading this passage multiple times to try and get a grasp on it and trying to figure out how it speaks of my situation today. I don't necessarily think anything pertains to today, other than maybe that this passage talks about Eve and Adam eating from the tree of knowledge and knowing good and evil. I've known a lot of both of those things in my life, but my conscious choice to begin devotionals again today is showing me that I'm capable of being "good" and working to deny evil any part of my life. This is part of God's plan to better my life.
Pray - "Take some time to confess those areas where you have deliberately rebelled against God."
This section is about praying, but I think it will be beneficial to me to write my thoughts and prayers down before I verbally pray so here goes...
Lord,
I've never been comfortable praying with other people around, at least not out loud. I'm not sure why I wanted to tell you that, but I did. I'm praying to confess things I know I've done that weren't what you wanted for me, but admitting to doing something wrong is hard. I've learned that a lot this past week when I've been sending out apologies to people. So, I'm getting more used to this "confessing" business.
The first thing that came to mind was cheating and adultery. When Alex and I first separated, I dated around. I kept saying that we were divorced "in my heart" and so it was okay. Though I do believe that divorce is a matter of the heart and not of the law, I wasn't feeling that way in my heart. I got with other guys because I felt alone, hurt, and abandoned and I still loved him. I consider myself an adulterer because of that. I'm sorry. I don't think it's any coincidence that I wasn't able to find my soul mate until after the divorce was final in my heart AND legally.
Sadly, there are so many other times I've rebelled and done things in my lifetime that I know you wouldn't want for me. Drinking excessively, drugs, badmouthing people...even loved ones, and falling away from you and choosing other religions when I was a teenager. But I offer all of these things up to you and ask for your forgiveness. You sent your son to die for my sins and I refuse to let it have all been for nothing. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.
Live - "Knowing you [...] have rebelled against God, what do you feel?"
Well, for one I feel not so alone. I don't feel that spiritual perfection is reached by many people so I shouldn't feel like a failure when I mess up.
"How does this affect the way you live your life?"
It reminds me that I can be forgiven, so I can (and should) admit to my faults and ask for forgiveness...whether it be from God or friends/family/etc.
"If God knows everything, why did He call out Adam asking 'Where are you?'"
He wants us to be able to admit to our faults and wrongdoing, He doesn't want to force it.
"When are you most tempted to hide?"
Anytime I've done something I know God doesn't want me to do. When I do things to other people that they don't deserve...or things they may "deserve" in my eyes.
===============================
I don't want to type out all of yesterday's but I'll give an overview.
The passage was Genesis 32:22-32 with the extended passage being all of Genesis 32, though I also read 31 and 33. It was the story of Jacob and when his name was made Israel. Anyways so one thing I loved is that I write my prayers down and this "pray" section actually brought up writing them down so that you don't get distracted, love love LOVED that! I prayed about I desperately want from God. Some things I mentioned were a better understanding of yesterday's devotional because there was one question that I couldn't really "get", wanting to know God better because I feel like I'm only in the beginning stages of my faith because of "starting over" after Alex. He jaded me on religion the same way that one of my mom's ex-husbands did. I said that I desperately want more understanding of God, to be blessed in all aspects of my life, to be happy in this life as well as my afterlife. That I desperately long to have the spiritual life I feel I need, to be more comfortable with my spiritual side. And then some mushy things dealing with the love of my life Patrick.
There's my overview (^_^).
There is still some time tonight before bed, especially when there isn't anyone here in the house except me and the kids so it's about devotional time again...g'night!!!
So far getting back into the swing of devotionals has been fairly easy. I'm really liking the format of this book of devotionals, it makes it so much easier! I'm going to go over what I've done for the past two days (yesterday and the day before). I'm writing all of this down in a notebook, and I won't be sharing them here every day I do a devotional. But I think that recalling my devotional multiple times a day really helps them sink in.
November 11th, 2010
Passage - Genesis 3:1-10
Read - check
Think - "How does this passage speak to your situation today?"
I'm reading this passage multiple times to try and get a grasp on it and trying to figure out how it speaks of my situation today. I don't necessarily think anything pertains to today, other than maybe that this passage talks about Eve and Adam eating from the tree of knowledge and knowing good and evil. I've known a lot of both of those things in my life, but my conscious choice to begin devotionals again today is showing me that I'm capable of being "good" and working to deny evil any part of my life. This is part of God's plan to better my life.
Pray - "Take some time to confess those areas where you have deliberately rebelled against God."
This section is about praying, but I think it will be beneficial to me to write my thoughts and prayers down before I verbally pray so here goes...
Lord,
I've never been comfortable praying with other people around, at least not out loud. I'm not sure why I wanted to tell you that, but I did. I'm praying to confess things I know I've done that weren't what you wanted for me, but admitting to doing something wrong is hard. I've learned that a lot this past week when I've been sending out apologies to people. So, I'm getting more used to this "confessing" business.
The first thing that came to mind was cheating and adultery. When Alex and I first separated, I dated around. I kept saying that we were divorced "in my heart" and so it was okay. Though I do believe that divorce is a matter of the heart and not of the law, I wasn't feeling that way in my heart. I got with other guys because I felt alone, hurt, and abandoned and I still loved him. I consider myself an adulterer because of that. I'm sorry. I don't think it's any coincidence that I wasn't able to find my soul mate until after the divorce was final in my heart AND legally.
Sadly, there are so many other times I've rebelled and done things in my lifetime that I know you wouldn't want for me. Drinking excessively, drugs, badmouthing people...even loved ones, and falling away from you and choosing other religions when I was a teenager. But I offer all of these things up to you and ask for your forgiveness. You sent your son to die for my sins and I refuse to let it have all been for nothing. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.
Live - "Knowing you [...] have rebelled against God, what do you feel?"
Well, for one I feel not so alone. I don't feel that spiritual perfection is reached by many people so I shouldn't feel like a failure when I mess up.
"How does this affect the way you live your life?"
It reminds me that I can be forgiven, so I can (and should) admit to my faults and ask for forgiveness...whether it be from God or friends/family/etc.
"If God knows everything, why did He call out Adam asking 'Where are you?'"
He wants us to be able to admit to our faults and wrongdoing, He doesn't want to force it.
"When are you most tempted to hide?"
Anytime I've done something I know God doesn't want me to do. When I do things to other people that they don't deserve...or things they may "deserve" in my eyes.
===============================
I don't want to type out all of yesterday's but I'll give an overview.
The passage was Genesis 32:22-32 with the extended passage being all of Genesis 32, though I also read 31 and 33. It was the story of Jacob and when his name was made Israel. Anyways so one thing I loved is that I write my prayers down and this "pray" section actually brought up writing them down so that you don't get distracted, love love LOVED that! I prayed about I desperately want from God. Some things I mentioned were a better understanding of yesterday's devotional because there was one question that I couldn't really "get", wanting to know God better because I feel like I'm only in the beginning stages of my faith because of "starting over" after Alex. He jaded me on religion the same way that one of my mom's ex-husbands did. I said that I desperately want more understanding of God, to be blessed in all aspects of my life, to be happy in this life as well as my afterlife. That I desperately long to have the spiritual life I feel I need, to be more comfortable with my spiritual side. And then some mushy things dealing with the love of my life Patrick.
There's my overview (^_^).
There is still some time tonight before bed, especially when there isn't anyone here in the house except me and the kids so it's about devotional time again...g'night!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Starting my devotionals.
Tomorrow I will be starting my devotionals. I had planned to start today, but had a weird night where I only got an hour or so of sleep and had to wake up this morning to get a new car. It's been super busy, but I need to get on top of that tomorrow.
Edit:
I need to remind myself that I should never be too busy to have God in my life. This past Sunday's message was about not being too busy to take care of your spirit, I need to keep that in mind.
Edit:
I need to remind myself that I should never be too busy to have God in my life. This past Sunday's message was about not being too busy to take care of your spirit, I need to keep that in mind.
Taking steps in the right direction.
Forgiveness isn't always the easiest thing to have towards people, nor is it the easiest thing to ask from people. I'm taking time out of my life right now to contact people I think I've wronged in the past and ask forgiveness. I gotta tell you, it takes a lot out of you! I wrote a couple of people from The Rock who I thought I wrongfully cut out of my life and apologized, I explained what I think I did wrong. The end of each one made it clear that they didn't have to contact me back, but that either way I wanted to ask their forgiveness. So far none of those have written me back, but that's okay. Even if they don't forgive me, asking for forgiveness has started clearing the negative emotions out of my heart and I'm able to forgive myself much easier for things I've done in my past. The most recent apology was given to my ex-husband. I didn't apologize for feeling hurt by the way I was treated, I didn't apologize for leaving the relationship...those are things I still feel justified in and have no guilty conscious over. I did, however, apologize for not always being a good wife and for the hurt I gave him during the relationship. I also told him to please tell his parents that I apologize to them. For sometimes taking advantage of his father's good nature, because his father is an amazing man and never deserved one bit of it. ...and I told him to tell his mom I apologize because I said some pretty nasty things in an e-mail that I sent to her. I will admit that she also wasn't very nice to me prior to that, but I forgive her for that and I'm not going to hold it against her. Just because someone doesn't treat you how you think they should, doesn't give you the right to hold it over them and say things back to them out of anger...which is what I did.
All in all this apologizing thing is going well, and that's what matters. I have a lot more people I want to write to, I just have to pace myself. Like I said, it may be a nice thing to do and it gets some weight off your shoulders but at the same time it's a hard thing to do and it takes more energy than I had originally thought it would.
I don't think many people read this, but for anyone who does...I have one request. At some point this week, take a few minutes out to apologize to someone in your life that you've hurt. You'll brighten their spirit at the same time you brighten your own <3
All in all this apologizing thing is going well, and that's what matters. I have a lot more people I want to write to, I just have to pace myself. Like I said, it may be a nice thing to do and it gets some weight off your shoulders but at the same time it's a hard thing to do and it takes more energy than I had originally thought it would.
I don't think many people read this, but for anyone who does...I have one request. At some point this week, take a few minutes out to apologize to someone in your life that you've hurt. You'll brighten their spirit at the same time you brighten your own <3
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Post from The Rock Church's page
I saw this on the dynamic blog of The Rock Church and wanted to share it because I think it's something that can benefit just about everyone.
From : http://www.rockofasheville.com
From : http://www.rockofasheville.com
Receiving Grace to Overcome Bitterness
Hebrews 12:15
The two greatest needs in life are to love and to be loved. God made us to be relational!
In every relationship - no matter how distant or intimate - there exists the possibility (and the probability) of being hurt.
How you process those hurts is going to make all the difference in the world.
You can't stop hurt from coming - but you can decide how you will deal with it.
Bitterness is the result of unresolved hurts of the past.
When something is bitter – it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. When you've got a bad taste in your mouth – nothing tastes good. Even good things don’t taste good!
The root of bitterness is unresolved offenses.
1. Offenses must come.
Matthew 18:7
You must learn to deal with them because they WILL come.
Never let your heart get set on a person until you see how they deal with an offense. Eventually they will have to deal with being offended at you.
Determine to walk in a spirit of forgiveness. If you don’t learn to do this - you will ruin or lose every relationship in your life.
I’ve learned this in life: You can either be right or you can have relationships.
2. Offenses blind.
Once you get offended with someone you become blind to anything that is good about them. You begin to see through the eyes of offense rather than through the eyes of love.
You begin to build a case to justify your offense.
Philippians 1:9-10
Proper approval springs out of love - not criticism.
Of course there are things wrong with that person. There are things wrong with YOU, with ME – with all of us! It’s a given!
3. Bitterness from unresolved offense spreads.
Hebrews 12:15
Offense loves to gather people who share your offense - allowing you to validate your offense by rehearsing it over and over.
Forgiveness is the key to resolving bitterness.
Forgiveness releases them, and most importantly – it releases you from them!
Not forgiving is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
When we carry the hurts of the past, we are binding ourselves to the past.
How do we find the strength to forgive? By the grace of God.
The grace we receive is the grace we give.
When I receive grace – I recognize that my debt is paid. Then I can release grace – and recognize that your debt is paid too.
When we realize what we owe to God is far greater than what anyone could owe to us - we can release them.
Matthew 18:21-35
The grace of God doesn't say "You didn't do anything wrong". It just releases the debt, based on Jesus paying the price.
When we forgive, we're not saying "They didn't do wrong". We're just releasing the debt, based on Jesus paying the price.
Colossians 3:13
How do you find the grace to forgive? Receive the grace to forgive.
Luke 6:28
I’ve been making myself speak a blessing over the people who have hurt me. Let's face it – When we get hurt, emotions are involved. Emotions are like a big ship, turned by many small turns.
It takes many choices to forgive – and these small choices will turn your emotions.
God is not hard-hearted with this. He is not saying “All right, just forgive and get on with your life.”
Isaiah 61:1-3
Isaiah 42:1-3.
The Holy Spirit's special concern is the broken-hearted. If you've been bruised by hurts, if your fire is almost out - God is near to you.
God is the source of the grace you need to forgive others!
The two greatest needs in life are to love and to be loved. God made us to be relational!
In every relationship - no matter how distant or intimate - there exists the possibility (and the probability) of being hurt.
How you process those hurts is going to make all the difference in the world.
You can't stop hurt from coming - but you can decide how you will deal with it.
Bitterness is the result of unresolved hurts of the past.
When something is bitter – it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. When you've got a bad taste in your mouth – nothing tastes good. Even good things don’t taste good!
The root of bitterness is unresolved offenses.
1. Offenses must come.
Matthew 18:7
You must learn to deal with them because they WILL come.
Never let your heart get set on a person until you see how they deal with an offense. Eventually they will have to deal with being offended at you.
Determine to walk in a spirit of forgiveness. If you don’t learn to do this - you will ruin or lose every relationship in your life.
I’ve learned this in life: You can either be right or you can have relationships.
2. Offenses blind.
Once you get offended with someone you become blind to anything that is good about them. You begin to see through the eyes of offense rather than through the eyes of love.
You begin to build a case to justify your offense.
Philippians 1:9-10
Proper approval springs out of love - not criticism.
Of course there are things wrong with that person. There are things wrong with YOU, with ME – with all of us! It’s a given!
3. Bitterness from unresolved offense spreads.
Hebrews 12:15
Offense loves to gather people who share your offense - allowing you to validate your offense by rehearsing it over and over.
Forgiveness is the key to resolving bitterness.
Forgiveness releases them, and most importantly – it releases you from them!
Not forgiving is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
When we carry the hurts of the past, we are binding ourselves to the past.
How do we find the strength to forgive? By the grace of God.
The grace we receive is the grace we give.
When I receive grace – I recognize that my debt is paid. Then I can release grace – and recognize that your debt is paid too.
When we realize what we owe to God is far greater than what anyone could owe to us - we can release them.
Matthew 18:21-35
The grace of God doesn't say "You didn't do anything wrong". It just releases the debt, based on Jesus paying the price.
When we forgive, we're not saying "They didn't do wrong". We're just releasing the debt, based on Jesus paying the price.
Colossians 3:13
How do you find the grace to forgive? Receive the grace to forgive.
Luke 6:28
I’ve been making myself speak a blessing over the people who have hurt me. Let's face it – When we get hurt, emotions are involved. Emotions are like a big ship, turned by many small turns.
It takes many choices to forgive – and these small choices will turn your emotions.
God is not hard-hearted with this. He is not saying “All right, just forgive and get on with your life.”
Isaiah 61:1-3
Isaiah 42:1-3.
The Holy Spirit's special concern is the broken-hearted. If you've been bruised by hurts, if your fire is almost out - God is near to you.
God is the source of the grace you need to forgive others!
Published on Monday, October 11, 2010 @ 5:59 PM CDT
It's not my place to judge.
"What the Bible Says About Healthy Living" by Rex Russell
I usually refrain from reading more than one thing at once unless it's a graphic novel, but I forgot the book mentioned in my last post (unChristian) at my house by accident so I grabbed a different one from the car. I got this book a while ago at the used book store, but hadn't gotten a chance to read it yet. I haven't gotten far into it yet, but so far it's a great book. It talks about eating things as close as they come from nature, seasonal, and certain things for certain health issues. I'm going to give a better analysis of it once I finish it, though that may be a while since I'm very into unChristian right now!
In other news, things have been amazing. I told Patrick today that I'm okay with us trying to have his ex-girlfriend Lisa as a part of our lives. Not necessarily as a good friend or anything (though I don't disregard that possibility whatsoever), but I don't mind her being around sometimes. I thought today about how she seems to be really trying to salvage a friendship with him, and she seems really happy and happy for us. I told him that the other day when she started texting I had a feeling in my heart that I should invite her to come to church with us, but I didn't say anything to him about it at the time because I was content in my dislike of her. Then I thought about how I haven't really met her one-on-one and have no reason to pass judgement on her other than the fact that she's his ex makes me uncomfortable. But having some of my exes as friends means that I was being an absolute hypocrite. I don't want to be like that. So at this point I've told him that I'd really like to get to know her some before we all hang out. I am hoping she'll either call me, text me, or unblock me on Facebook so that we can talk through messaging. He's going to bring it up to her. I just think that if she's trying to be his friend, I shouldn't push her out of his life. At the least she deserves for me to get to know her. So we'll see how this goes. I especially want to do this because apparently her new boyfriend is a Christian and she told Patrick that she's praying and has been getting close to God and well, I don't want to push away someone who is trying to have God in their lives (not that I'd push away people who weren't lol).
Well honestly for right now that's about it, maybe I'll have more to say tomorrow :)
I usually refrain from reading more than one thing at once unless it's a graphic novel, but I forgot the book mentioned in my last post (unChristian) at my house by accident so I grabbed a different one from the car. I got this book a while ago at the used book store, but hadn't gotten a chance to read it yet. I haven't gotten far into it yet, but so far it's a great book. It talks about eating things as close as they come from nature, seasonal, and certain things for certain health issues. I'm going to give a better analysis of it once I finish it, though that may be a while since I'm very into unChristian right now!
In other news, things have been amazing. I told Patrick today that I'm okay with us trying to have his ex-girlfriend Lisa as a part of our lives. Not necessarily as a good friend or anything (though I don't disregard that possibility whatsoever), but I don't mind her being around sometimes. I thought today about how she seems to be really trying to salvage a friendship with him, and she seems really happy and happy for us. I told him that the other day when she started texting I had a feeling in my heart that I should invite her to come to church with us, but I didn't say anything to him about it at the time because I was content in my dislike of her. Then I thought about how I haven't really met her one-on-one and have no reason to pass judgement on her other than the fact that she's his ex makes me uncomfortable. But having some of my exes as friends means that I was being an absolute hypocrite. I don't want to be like that. So at this point I've told him that I'd really like to get to know her some before we all hang out. I am hoping she'll either call me, text me, or unblock me on Facebook so that we can talk through messaging. He's going to bring it up to her. I just think that if she's trying to be his friend, I shouldn't push her out of his life. At the least she deserves for me to get to know her. So we'll see how this goes. I especially want to do this because apparently her new boyfriend is a Christian and she told Patrick that she's praying and has been getting close to God and well, I don't want to push away someone who is trying to have God in their lives (not that I'd push away people who weren't lol).
Well honestly for right now that's about it, maybe I'll have more to say tomorrow :)
Monday, November 8, 2010
unChristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons
I was in Walden Books earlier today and decided to look for a book called unChristian. Pastor Chris Stapleton from The Rock Church talked about it once in a sermon. I couldn't find it, though I did find another book by Gabe Lyons. Anyways so off to Cornerstone books I went! Not only did I find this book, but I also left there with a new devotional that is based around The Message bible. It's called The Message Remix Solo. It may be the best devotional I've ever owned and I really can't wait to get started on it! But back to this book. In unChristian they at one point poll groups of non-Christians and ask for the opinions on Christians. One of the things I remember specifically was along the lines of, "What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Christians?" The two top answers, again...if I remember correctly, were "Hypocrisy" and "Hating homosexuals." It's terrible that the two first things that non-believers think of Christians are bad things. Sadly I believe that many Christians give our entire religion a bad name and it's worse because the media coverage of said Christians is thrice that of those of us who are trying to live our lives right! Okay I admit it...I just wanted to use the word "Thrice." :)
Another question, again I'm trying to recall this from a sermon probably 2 almost 3 years ago, that was asked was if those non-believers knew any Christians and if those Christians acted different than the ones who weren't Christians. Sorry if that was all smushed and sounded confusing, but I think you get the point. The answers were astounding, again. Almost all of those people polled said that they didn't see any difference. Listen, I'm not saying that we should be all holier-than-thou because that just turns people away and is a terrible idea in general. What I am saying is that we should live by example.
...and I hate to end there, but I have some things I really need to accomplish today. I just wanted to make sure I got a blogpost in :).
List for November 8, 2010
_x_1. Deposit money in the bank
_x_2. Look for new devotional
_x_3. Find book "unChristian"
_x_4. Finish closing duties from work last night
_x_5. Work at 4.
_x_6. Contact Teena about cleaning tomorrow
__7. Figure out flat tire situation
__8. Talk to Jesse about one day off per week
_x_9. Pray about what to do about hookah
Another question, again I'm trying to recall this from a sermon probably 2 almost 3 years ago, that was asked was if those non-believers knew any Christians and if those Christians acted different than the ones who weren't Christians. Sorry if that was all smushed and sounded confusing, but I think you get the point. The answers were astounding, again. Almost all of those people polled said that they didn't see any difference. Listen, I'm not saying that we should be all holier-than-thou because that just turns people away and is a terrible idea in general. What I am saying is that we should live by example.
...and I hate to end there, but I have some things I really need to accomplish today. I just wanted to make sure I got a blogpost in :).
List for November 8, 2010
_x_1. Deposit money in the bank
_x_2. Look for new devotional
_x_3. Find book "unChristian"
_x_4. Finish closing duties from work last night
_x_5. Work at 4.
_x_6. Contact Teena about cleaning tomorrow
__7. Figure out flat tire situation
__8. Talk to Jesse about one day off per week
_x_9. Pray about what to do about hookah
Sunday, November 7, 2010
I've found a new home church.
This morning I attended a new church. The mom of one of my friends is an assistant pastor there and has been asking me for a bit to try and stop by and told me that I would like it. This past Sunday I decided to check it out. It's name is Faithbridge Methodist and you can find them online at http://www.faithbridgeumc.org/
I'm very happy to say that I not only enjoyed this church, but I think I've found my new home church. It's been hard for me trying to find a new church after leaving Asheville and thereby no longer attending The Rock Church. That church was the first I had ever felt at home at, and replacing it has proven to be quite the task. I tried a lot of churches in Boone...Cornerstone Summit, Alliance Bible Fellowship, Living Water...and I did really enjoy the last one (Living Water). I went there a lot and tried to be active, but in the end it still didn't feel "right." It didn't feel like home. I still hold Living Water and the others, as well as The Rock Church, very dear to my heart but I definitely feel that Faithbridge is where I'm meant to be here in Boone.
The sermon was about how busy life is these days and how everyone basically needs to slow down and not be so hurried all the time. One thing she brought up that especially spoke to my heart was having a day of rest for the Sabbath. She mentioned that this day of rest doesn't need to be on a Sunday, but our bodies will thrive and our souls with thrive if we give them the rest needed for them to be at their best. One of my new goals is now going to be to have one day of rest. This is a day where I will just spend time with God and be at peace. No electronics, No social networking, No talking about work or going to work. One day of rest. I'm going to talk to my boss about this in the next couple of days and ask for a certain day off each week to have the ability to do this. The only things that will be allowed in my world at that time besides God are my children and Patrick. Period, done deal.
I had a great night at the lounge with Patrick. We talked about religion and I was informed that he is in fact religious, he's just more about a one-on-one relationship with God than feeling the need to attend church and have fellowship with other Christians. He talked to me about the meaning behind the cross tattoo on his back, and we cuddled and listened to Christian music over the speakers. There was some major spiritual connecting with him on my part, and I hope that he felt the same connecting on his end. All in all, it was a good night :).
Let's see Let's see...
Oh, I didn't do so well with the smoking today. I know that it's not something I'll do forever, but quitting is really hard. Not because of the nicotine, it's actually not something I feel any addiction to at this point. I think my addiction is to the practice of smoking hookah and also the social aspect of it. I work at a hookah lounge and in my free time what have I always done? Sat down with friends and smoked a hookah. It has been my life for about a year now, though I've only been working there a few months...I was smoking at the lounge prior to that. The times that I miss smoking hookah aren't as much when I'm alone as when I have people around and I'm sitting at the lounge with nothing to do. I just want to sit with them and enjoy.
Right now I'm going to sit down and really decide what I want to do about this, and hardcore pray about it. I need to figure out not just what's best for me, but what does God feel is right in this situation...? Anyone who reads this just keep me in your prayers and pray for me to be shown the right path.
List for November 7, 2010
_x_1. Attend church at Faithbridge
_x_4. Talk with PJ about religion
_x_5. Pray before bed, at the least
I'm very happy to say that I not only enjoyed this church, but I think I've found my new home church. It's been hard for me trying to find a new church after leaving Asheville and thereby no longer attending The Rock Church. That church was the first I had ever felt at home at, and replacing it has proven to be quite the task. I tried a lot of churches in Boone...Cornerstone Summit, Alliance Bible Fellowship, Living Water...and I did really enjoy the last one (Living Water). I went there a lot and tried to be active, but in the end it still didn't feel "right." It didn't feel like home. I still hold Living Water and the others, as well as The Rock Church, very dear to my heart but I definitely feel that Faithbridge is where I'm meant to be here in Boone.
The sermon was about how busy life is these days and how everyone basically needs to slow down and not be so hurried all the time. One thing she brought up that especially spoke to my heart was having a day of rest for the Sabbath. She mentioned that this day of rest doesn't need to be on a Sunday, but our bodies will thrive and our souls with thrive if we give them the rest needed for them to be at their best. One of my new goals is now going to be to have one day of rest. This is a day where I will just spend time with God and be at peace. No electronics, No social networking, No talking about work or going to work. One day of rest. I'm going to talk to my boss about this in the next couple of days and ask for a certain day off each week to have the ability to do this. The only things that will be allowed in my world at that time besides God are my children and Patrick. Period, done deal.
I had a great night at the lounge with Patrick. We talked about religion and I was informed that he is in fact religious, he's just more about a one-on-one relationship with God than feeling the need to attend church and have fellowship with other Christians. He talked to me about the meaning behind the cross tattoo on his back, and we cuddled and listened to Christian music over the speakers. There was some major spiritual connecting with him on my part, and I hope that he felt the same connecting on his end. All in all, it was a good night :).
Let's see Let's see...
Oh, I didn't do so well with the smoking today. I know that it's not something I'll do forever, but quitting is really hard. Not because of the nicotine, it's actually not something I feel any addiction to at this point. I think my addiction is to the practice of smoking hookah and also the social aspect of it. I work at a hookah lounge and in my free time what have I always done? Sat down with friends and smoked a hookah. It has been my life for about a year now, though I've only been working there a few months...I was smoking at the lounge prior to that. The times that I miss smoking hookah aren't as much when I'm alone as when I have people around and I'm sitting at the lounge with nothing to do. I just want to sit with them and enjoy.
Right now I'm going to sit down and really decide what I want to do about this, and hardcore pray about it. I need to figure out not just what's best for me, but what does God feel is right in this situation...? Anyone who reads this just keep me in your prayers and pray for me to be shown the right path.
List for November 7, 2010
_x_1. Attend church at Faithbridge
__2. Don't smoke hookah **didn't accomplish**
_x_3. Figure out this months budget/bills_x_4. Talk with PJ about religion
_x_5. Pray before bed, at the least
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Today is the start of something wonderful and beautiful.
I wrote the love of my life a letter last night and told him that I wanted to be able to share my faith with him. The long story short is that I used to be very active in church, strong in my faith, and that was a very happy time in my life. Then things went south, I fell away from God and went down a road I wish I hadn't went down. I associated myself with people who didn't uplift me, instead they brought me down and took me down the wrong path. I want to make something clear, it wasn't that they weren't religious. In fact, some of the most loving and uplifting people I have in my life aren't religious (such as Robbie, who is an atheist) and some of the ones who have brought me down the most have called themselves Christians (a particular woman comes to mind, but I have forgiven her in my heart now and so I won't name names).
No, it wasn't that they had a lack of faith, it was a myriad of other reasons. Some "friends" wanted to do nothing around me but talk negatively about others, some wanted me to participate in things that were against my personal code of ethics, and others were just...well, not the kind of people I needed to be around. The sad thing is that when you begin to fall away from God, all of these things begin to seem "not that bad" and before you know it you are so far away from the right direction that you don't even know up from down anymore. The next thing I know I was doing all kinds of things, even the smallest of things that wouldn't matter to others, that I didn't want to do. I was eating fast food every other meal if not every meal, I was further neglecting my health by smoking tobacco in the form of hookah/shisha, I was back to cursing like a sailor (I'm not against cursing by the way, will go into that at a later date), I was drinking, I was being a total bitch, and on top of that there were many other things going wrong that I don't even want to get into publicly. My life was in shambles. It never dawned on me that maybe my loss of faith was to blame for all of things paired with my not having a job nor a steady home. In fact, I should say that the thought did in fact cross my mind...but I was so far gone that I just pushed it away and considered it silly.
At one point I really tried getting back into the swing of things. I was back in church, at the awesome Living Water Christian Fellowship, and things were looking up. I had a very part-time job, but a job nonetheless, and was living with my mom. It wasn't the best life ever, but it was better than what I head previously. I even put my faith in something I was weary of and God showed me a little instant gratification (which He's not always known for lol). I remember walking into Living Water, back before the renovations, and after worship an older lady began talking to me. She had seen me crying while I was singing and just smiled at me and asked, "So...what's your story?" I smiled through tears and began venting. I told her about how my ex-husband was abusive towards me and about the entire custody situation (I'll go into that also at a later date) and how I just couldn't catch a break. She gave me a hug and promised me that things would look up for me. Soon after that it was time for the offering/tithe. I immediately had a thought run through my head, it was a sermon I had heard at The Rock Church in Asheville. I remembered the verse Malachi 3:10...
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it.
I sat there, with the only five dollars I had to my name clutched in my hand. I remember it vividly because I can recall that it seemed like forever that I sat there contemplating my next move. Should I keep the five dollars and use it for important things like food? Or should I put faith in one of the only times He straight up says, "Test me in this," and just give me last five dollars and know that He will provide the rest? Finally when the basket came by, I took a long deep breath and put in the five dollars. The next thing that happened will be chalked up to many as being just a coincidence, but I don't. Not with every other "coincidence" that has been God related in my life. Anyways so I sat there, almost crying, because I was just thinking, "Oh gosh what did I just do?!" and then it happened. The service let out and the old lady who I had talked to came up and gave me a huge hug. She told me how it was her last Sunday at Living Water because she was moving out of state. She thanked me for talking to her and told me to just always remember that God is in my corner. Right before she walked out of the door she shook my hand and slipped me a twenty dollar bill.
Instant gratification. I put my faith, my full faith, in the Lord and I was met with him giving me a sign that it was the right choice.
Whew so anyways I swear there was a point to this other than my rambling.
Ah, well I guess I'll get back to my original point. I've realized at this time in my life that God brought Patrick (PJ) to me. He's an amazing man and my soul mate. I believe that he was put on this earth for me, and I was put on this earth for him. I've also spent time thinking about and noticing that there's no other way to put it...he's the other half of my spirit. That being said, yesterday his ex- wrote him a text and talked about how she had a boyfriend now that she loves who prays with her and prays over her life. It inspired me. I wanted to make sure that Patrick knew that I do the same for him. I wake up every day and thank God for him, thank God for my children, and pray over our lives because I want to show my appreciation for him every single day. I brought up to him yesterday that I'm sad over how my life has gone in the almost year before I met him. Sure I tried to get back to God, but it just didn't happen. But then yesterday it hit me that I no longer want to be this stray sheep I've been. I want to be back in the arms of God and loved for all of eternity!! And I want to share that with Patrick.
I've told him now that I want to continue my past pursuit of becoming a youth pastor. Sure, going to school for computer programming may seem more "realistic" but God has had this calling for my life for as long as I can remember and I want to follow the path I believe I was meant to follow. I want to begin being active in church again the way I was at The Rock church. I want to volunteer, I want to go on mission trips, I want to be immersed in the Spirit every minute of EVERY DAY!!!
Now for anyone who doesn't know me, this may seem a little off kilter from my personality. What most people don't realize is that even when I fell away from God I still believed in Him, I was still a Christian...I had just gone astray. Yes I have pink hair, yes I have piercings and tattoos...but those are the very same things that I feel will be an advantage for me as a youth pastor. I want to be myself and show people that no matter who you are and what you look like, GOD LOVES YOU. He loves every dot of ink, He loves every piece of metal, He loves your mohawk....your bihawk...heck, even your trihawk haha. He loves every single person for who they are as individuals. And even though this is a hot button issue: He loves you if you're gay. He loves your boyfriend, He loves your girlfriend. I don't care if people want to think I'm some terrible Christian because I'm not against homosexuality, because I don't think I'm going to heaven and having God say, "sorry, you're going to hell because you thought I loved too much." Nope, just can't believe it :). My God, your God, loves every single person on the face of this entire earth and you know what? If there are aliens I bet He loves them too.
Again with the rambling, Gosh this is a long blog entry!
The end of this entry will be like the end of many entries. I am going to make a list of things I want to do or work on not doing today. Things to better myself as a person and as a Christian, because I feel like everyday should be used in a positive way.
List for November 6, 2010
_x_1. I will read Genesis Chapters 1-5.
_x_2. I will find my devotional and do the one for today. (Found a devotional online at upperroom.org and did that one)
_x_3. My devotional should be almost finished, so look for a new one online.
_x_4. I will treat Patrick as my equal and my soul mate.
_x_5. I will not smoke hookah.
_x_6. I reiterate: I WILL NOT SMOKE HOOKAH.
_x_7. I won't eat out, I will cook all of my meals.
_x_8. I will do my job today as best I can, because keeping a job entails working hard at it.
_x_9. I will pray before bed, at the least.
No, it wasn't that they had a lack of faith, it was a myriad of other reasons. Some "friends" wanted to do nothing around me but talk negatively about others, some wanted me to participate in things that were against my personal code of ethics, and others were just...well, not the kind of people I needed to be around. The sad thing is that when you begin to fall away from God, all of these things begin to seem "not that bad" and before you know it you are so far away from the right direction that you don't even know up from down anymore. The next thing I know I was doing all kinds of things, even the smallest of things that wouldn't matter to others, that I didn't want to do. I was eating fast food every other meal if not every meal, I was further neglecting my health by smoking tobacco in the form of hookah/shisha, I was back to cursing like a sailor (I'm not against cursing by the way, will go into that at a later date), I was drinking, I was being a total bitch, and on top of that there were many other things going wrong that I don't even want to get into publicly. My life was in shambles. It never dawned on me that maybe my loss of faith was to blame for all of things paired with my not having a job nor a steady home. In fact, I should say that the thought did in fact cross my mind...but I was so far gone that I just pushed it away and considered it silly.
At one point I really tried getting back into the swing of things. I was back in church, at the awesome Living Water Christian Fellowship, and things were looking up. I had a very part-time job, but a job nonetheless, and was living with my mom. It wasn't the best life ever, but it was better than what I head previously. I even put my faith in something I was weary of and God showed me a little instant gratification (which He's not always known for lol). I remember walking into Living Water, back before the renovations, and after worship an older lady began talking to me. She had seen me crying while I was singing and just smiled at me and asked, "So...what's your story?" I smiled through tears and began venting. I told her about how my ex-husband was abusive towards me and about the entire custody situation (I'll go into that also at a later date) and how I just couldn't catch a break. She gave me a hug and promised me that things would look up for me. Soon after that it was time for the offering/tithe. I immediately had a thought run through my head, it was a sermon I had heard at The Rock Church in Asheville. I remembered the verse Malachi 3:10...
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it.
I sat there, with the only five dollars I had to my name clutched in my hand. I remember it vividly because I can recall that it seemed like forever that I sat there contemplating my next move. Should I keep the five dollars and use it for important things like food? Or should I put faith in one of the only times He straight up says, "Test me in this," and just give me last five dollars and know that He will provide the rest? Finally when the basket came by, I took a long deep breath and put in the five dollars. The next thing that happened will be chalked up to many as being just a coincidence, but I don't. Not with every other "coincidence" that has been God related in my life. Anyways so I sat there, almost crying, because I was just thinking, "Oh gosh what did I just do?!" and then it happened. The service let out and the old lady who I had talked to came up and gave me a huge hug. She told me how it was her last Sunday at Living Water because she was moving out of state. She thanked me for talking to her and told me to just always remember that God is in my corner. Right before she walked out of the door she shook my hand and slipped me a twenty dollar bill.
Instant gratification. I put my faith, my full faith, in the Lord and I was met with him giving me a sign that it was the right choice.
Whew so anyways I swear there was a point to this other than my rambling.
Ah, well I guess I'll get back to my original point. I've realized at this time in my life that God brought Patrick (PJ) to me. He's an amazing man and my soul mate. I believe that he was put on this earth for me, and I was put on this earth for him. I've also spent time thinking about and noticing that there's no other way to put it...he's the other half of my spirit. That being said, yesterday his ex- wrote him a text and talked about how she had a boyfriend now that she loves who prays with her and prays over her life. It inspired me. I wanted to make sure that Patrick knew that I do the same for him. I wake up every day and thank God for him, thank God for my children, and pray over our lives because I want to show my appreciation for him every single day. I brought up to him yesterday that I'm sad over how my life has gone in the almost year before I met him. Sure I tried to get back to God, but it just didn't happen. But then yesterday it hit me that I no longer want to be this stray sheep I've been. I want to be back in the arms of God and loved for all of eternity!! And I want to share that with Patrick.
I've told him now that I want to continue my past pursuit of becoming a youth pastor. Sure, going to school for computer programming may seem more "realistic" but God has had this calling for my life for as long as I can remember and I want to follow the path I believe I was meant to follow. I want to begin being active in church again the way I was at The Rock church. I want to volunteer, I want to go on mission trips, I want to be immersed in the Spirit every minute of EVERY DAY!!!
Now for anyone who doesn't know me, this may seem a little off kilter from my personality. What most people don't realize is that even when I fell away from God I still believed in Him, I was still a Christian...I had just gone astray. Yes I have pink hair, yes I have piercings and tattoos...but those are the very same things that I feel will be an advantage for me as a youth pastor. I want to be myself and show people that no matter who you are and what you look like, GOD LOVES YOU. He loves every dot of ink, He loves every piece of metal, He loves your mohawk....your bihawk...heck, even your trihawk haha. He loves every single person for who they are as individuals. And even though this is a hot button issue: He loves you if you're gay. He loves your boyfriend, He loves your girlfriend. I don't care if people want to think I'm some terrible Christian because I'm not against homosexuality, because I don't think I'm going to heaven and having God say, "sorry, you're going to hell because you thought I loved too much." Nope, just can't believe it :). My God, your God, loves every single person on the face of this entire earth and you know what? If there are aliens I bet He loves them too.
Again with the rambling, Gosh this is a long blog entry!
The end of this entry will be like the end of many entries. I am going to make a list of things I want to do or work on not doing today. Things to better myself as a person and as a Christian, because I feel like everyday should be used in a positive way.
List for November 6, 2010
_x_1. I will read Genesis Chapters 1-5.
_x_2. I will find my devotional and do the one for today. (Found a devotional online at upperroom.org and did that one)
_x_3. My devotional should be almost finished, so look for a new one online.
_x_4. I will treat Patrick as my equal and my soul mate.
_x_5. I will not smoke hookah.
_x_6. I reiterate: I WILL NOT SMOKE HOOKAH.
_x_7. I won't eat out, I will cook all of my meals.
_x_8. I will do my job today as best I can, because keeping a job entails working hard at it.
_x_9. I will pray before bed, at the least.
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